“Why am I seeing two of the baby?” I wondered silently.
“How do you feel about twins?!” the ultrasound tech asked.
Truth be told, I feel GREAT about twins. Manny and I both immediately agreed that we had been so silly, thinking we were only expecting a single baby. I kid… but honestly — and I know not every couple who learns they’re expecting twins feels this way (and that’s okay!) — it really felt right from the start as if we were always supposed to have twins for some reason. I have never for a second wished there was only one baby in there. I am a (naive) maniac, and hormones may have something to do with this, but if I’ve wished anything since learning about the twins, it’s that they were TRIPLETS.
Yeah, I’m cray-cray.
Anyway, the long of the short of it is more complicated, of course. At first there was surprise. Then elation. That lasted about a week. THEN PANIC SET IN. “Oh, gawd, how will we afford to put two kids through Penn? Or Georgetown? Or Harvard?!” I asked Manny, with no hint of irony. “I think you’re getting ahead of us,” he said. “And them,” he added.
“But… but… can we really expect there to be TWO OPENINGS on the Supreme Court at the same time???”
Granted, these are not real problems. And I am determined to be a nice, calm, normal mom who doesn’t Lady Macbeth the heck out of her kids. So in my more rational moments, I started to wonder about the practical stuff. I have — literally — never changed a diaper in my life. I can count on both hands how many times I’ve ever held a baby before. I never babysat growing up. Sure, I read What to Expect When You’re Expecting over the summer when we decided we were ready to give baby-making the old college try. But I skipped the chapter on multiples, thinking it would be a waste of time. And how will I tell them apart at first?! It is fair to say I have no idea what we’re getting ourselves into. Plus, I worry about saving adequately for their future and keeping our heads above water with the hubbub of raising two kiddos at once. I’m not just talking about diapers (which one multiples-mom suggested can cost over 4k with twins). Will they need piano lessons? (And does that mean we’ll have to buy a piano???)
And then there are the myriad possibilities / problems / worries that are twin specific. Ours are identical, mono/di babies. I didn’t have a clue what that meant or what it implied when we learned we were expecting them, but here’s the rub. All multiples-pregnancies are considered high-risk. Within that scary bracket, there is yet more nuance, though. There are the lowest of the high-risk pregnancies: di/di (two sacks, two placentas). There are the highest of the high-risk pregnancies: mo/mo (one sack, one placenta). And there are the middle of the high-risk pregnancies: mono/di (or what some call mo/di): two sacks, one placenta. I’m in that middle risk group. This is a mixed blessing. I have no reason to worry at the moment, and I get lots of prenatal monitoring. But… who knows?
Now to the nitty-gritty. As Manny has pointed out, once they’re out, making their way in the world, their dynamic could go a few ways. Let me preface this by saying we learned yesterday that we’re having BOYS! [#BOYMOM!!!] Identical twin boys sound so darn lovely. Until you start thinking about Remus and Romulus.
“Ancient history” you say?
Well… what if one of them tries to DiCaprio the other à la Man in the Iron Mask???
SEE! TOTALLY SCARY POSSIBILITY!!!
Of course, they could also become best friends and never feel loneliness like the rest of us poor souls who weren’t lucky enough to be born with an identical twin to talk to and confide in and have a secret language with and build LEGOS with and play Dungeons & Dragons with. (I’m really hoping for some adorable nerd-boys, as you can see.)
And I won’t discount the distinct possibility that they could end up as successful entrepreneurs / reality-TV stars, helping the rest of us buy and renovate the homes of our dreams like Jonathan and Drew:
Yup, a lot of possibilities.
About the fact that they’re boys: I would be remiss if I didn’t at least note that this, maybe even more than the twins thing, has thrown me for a loop. I really don’t think I have at any point felt a strong preference one way or another when it comes to girls vs. boys. But… I did BELIEVE we were having girls. Manny did, too. We wholeheartedly believed the babies were girls (until yesterday) with no proof whatsoever beyond sheer dumb intuition. As irrational as that sounds, we were so convinced our babies were girls that we went ahead and picked names — first and middle — for the girls. They were lovely names. But in all of this dreaming and scheming, we never considered the boy possibility. I have been more than happy to wrap my head around their boy-ness, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what the heck we’re going to name them. I suppose I have time. But still. Boy names are hard, y’all!
In the coming months, we’ll be prepping by getting a nursery together. And I’ve already started the fretting over strollers and other life-or-death considerations. I kid, I kid. But on a somewhat serious note: the stroller is going to be a big deal for us. We have one car — a 2013 Prius (compact-model!) that’s paid off and relatively beloved — and we don’t really want to get another car, at least not right away. So we’re currently hoping (against all odds…) that we can find a twin-stroller that fits in our miniature trunk.
Otherwise, I remain extremely pleased that we completed our home renovations last year. (Phew!) Certainly, the car and bungalow alike are about to feel a bit more crowded. But what a lovely reason!